Melissa C. Koh

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Thoughts On Becoming A Dad

Motherhood
When Mel and I found out that she was pregnant, we were in our hotel room in Korea and, if you watched her pregnancy reveal video on YouTube, you would know that we did the test as a precaution because Mel wanted to eat Sashimi and we didn’t want to take any chances.
 
Being the skeptics that we are, as well as not being able to read the instructions written in Korean on the back of the test-kit, we weren’t a hundred percent positive that Mel was … well, positive. So we saw a gynae once we were back in Singapore and confirmed it. 
 
“You know you’re pregnant right?” 
 
In response to that question posed to us by the gynae, I had one word “Wow”. 
 
“Wow”, I’m going to be a dad. 
It’s one thing to see your relatives and friends around you have children. But finding out that you’re having a baby yourself is kinda the best feeling in the world. Or at least it was for me. I’m not the kind of guy who day-dreams about being a father, who sits down to plan way in advance how I want to be like as a parent. 
 
But there I was, with the goofiest of smiles on my face, elated having found out that I’m going to be a father. Even up till now, I catch myself smiling when thinking about it. 
 
“Wow”, it’s a person in there. 
 
After the initial shock and euphoria, it started to sink in that Mel’s growing a little human in her womb. I started to realise that we were entirely responsible for a life and basically had to get our shit together. Conversations between Mel and I over the past few months have been dominated by topics about baby prep. When we worked through the night, previously it was for our business. Now it’s clearing the house to make space for the nursery or planning for our baby. 
I have to admit we often had feelings of unpreparedness and inadequacy, doubting our capability of being good parents, and already feeling guilty for not being “optimal” parents for our child. 
 
But we are trying our best and we pray, constantly, that God takes care of the rest. 
 
I’ve always been in awe of Mel’s grit, creativity, grace, boundless energy, and ability to see the glass half full. 
 
We’re at week #36 as I’m writing this post and having seen how she’s handled all the effects of pregnancy such as the backaches, fatigue and nausea all while hustling like a mad lady to manage aher businesses, has left me both dumbfounded and inspired. I know for certain that she’ll be applying the same focus and determination to provide and care for our son. 
 
Being the youngest of my family and not having any nieces or nephews, I don’t really know what to expect. Mel, on the other hand, has three younger siblings all of whom are 12 or more years her junior. I’ve always been admiration of how close she is to her siblings and how she’s cared for an guided them over the years. 
Being as inexperienced as I am, I’m preparing to be a father by drawing inspiration from the exemplary father figures in my life. My father who worked obsessively to provide for the family and my godfather who guided my spiritual journey in my younger years are just two of many role models whom I’ll do my best to emulate. 
 
We’ve looked forward to every doctor’s appointment because we get to see our baby boy via the sonogram, we take joy in noticing his little movements and what he’s doing with his tiny hands and legs. (Once, he was showing the “peace out” sign and we, including our gynae, found it absolutely adorable). 
 
As unprepared as I feel and probably am, I can’t wait for him to arrive and to witness all his “firsts”. From his first burp to his first word to his first crawl and walk. I’ll cherish and keep every moment in my heart.  
 
Life’s an adventure and it’s about to get a whole lot more interesting.

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1 comment

  1. Doris Teo
    24 May 2019 @ 10:27 pm

    Always bear in mind; Jesus is the Centre of your parenthood. Prayers of parents are as powerful as of a child. God bless you both. 🙂

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